Happy Leap Day! I wish I had a happier song to share, but, alas, I do not.
The soundscape created in this song is so…wow. The beat, the guitar, the vocals, it really felt like I was hearing something different the first time Nicolette showed it to me.
“Today I looked over my shoulder, hoping you’d be sitting there, I almost feel like I can see you, can you see me? Been trying to get life without you in it, I just can’t make no fucking sense of it, I swear a whole chunk of my body, went numb and stopped responding”
Just an amazingly poignant song about longing, right? I think MARO does a great job of making us feel what the song is about, and maybe that has to do with how the music itself is constructed. I feel like it’s been a while since I’ve used the word “authentic” to describe something (after using it a little too frequently, ha!) but there’s an authentic performance here that just drips from MARO’s delivery.
“I’m aware you had to leave someday, but I didn’t know it would be this freezing, I mean I lost all reason, and every night now, I take forever to let go, fall asleep, then I see you in my dreams, oh, they’re all the same, you come around then disappear, no”
My favorite part is probably the bridge because it feels so authentic like I mentioned but also just so succinctly summarizes the feelings that come with this kind of relationship (or ex-relationship).
“Feel anxious, feel nervous, I’m nauseous, I’m broken, I’m scared I’ll always feel this way, no, I can’t have you far away, feel empty so empty, I’m tired, I’m caving in, (I’m caving in), you took a heavy part of me, how am I supposed to live and live and live?”
When it fades back into the chorus it is such a beautifully painful transition.
It’s hard to say “please enjoy this song” when it is pretty depressing, but I bet you can see the beauty and catharsis of getting those words out of your mind and onto paper when you’re writing it. If you don’t journal, we should both start doing it. Don’t hold things in, don’t bury them. Let them out or they will fester.
I wish you well! Be good, do good. As always, thank you for taking the time out to read my ramblings. It truly means a lot and I’m having a ton of fun with this project. Looking forward to 306 more posts!
everything, etc. 
This on is a good reminder of impermanence. As I was listening to the lyrics, I thought… every single person that comes into our life will also leave it. Every. Single. One. Whether it is through distance or death. Whether they bring us boundless joy, or utter misery. They will be gone from our lives at some point. Moms, dads, siblings, best friends, coworkers, children. Our favorite barista. The waiter we like. The person we deeply love. Life and chance connected us with them at some point. And life (or death) and chance will separate them from us at some point.
That might sound very sad, and it in many ways I suppose it is. But it’s not completely. It reminds me that the people who cause the greatest suffering in my life, one day, will no longer be in it, and someday that source of suffering will be gone too. Maybe even sooner if I can forgive them and let them go.
And it reminds me that the people I love the most will be gone someday. At some point I will be with them for the very last moment, and I won’t likely even know which moment that is. I can’t change that, so I will love and appreciate them all the more every chance I get before that inevitable eventuality happens. And when it does, my heart might break , but I will try not to negate all the joy they brought me by suffering in grief at the loss of them. I will try to let them go too.
I guess this one reminds me to love harder, to be more present, and to let go.
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Poetically said, my brother.
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